Rather than diving straight into answers to FAQs, let’s start with a picture story that has helped many people more easily grasp what God is doing.  In the Bible, among other names, God is called our Father.  Not coincidently, God integrated the parent / child relationship into our design so that we can more easily understand what He is doing.  As such, take the time to grasp the concepts in this word picture and the rest of this site will be quicker and easier to understand.  Note that some people have not had parents that were loving and/or wise and so it will be harder to relate to this picture story.  If that is you, we hope your situation gets better in the future and hope that you can see the wise and loving intentions in this picture story.  Where we talk about parents, you might relate better to an excellent coach or a close and wise friend.  God, like a wise and loving parent, is seeking to help us be successful in the two areas all of us seek:  1) Our purpose, and 2) Our ability to have wholesome relationships.

The picture story:
A parent has a 6-year-child that has an issue with money.  The child wants to spend any money they get as soon as they get it.  The parent regularly encourages the child to save some.

This cycle plays out many times:  The parent gives the child their allowance and encourages the child to save some, but the child spends it at the first opportunity to buy something they really don’t want that much. The parent understands this character trait is likely to cause much bigger problems later in life if not addressed.

Then, one week, they give the child their allowance which the child quickly spends as usual.  But, a couple of days after that, the child finds something they really do want.  The parent knows the child really wants it.  But the child doesn’t have any money saved.  The parent decides to let a little tough love play out so the child will learn about saving because they know this will likely teach this child a lesson about money that will build important life character traits. The parent knows the child will be crying tonight and sad tomorrow. They also know the child will likely not remember much about this specific event in 6 months, but will hopefully have learned the lesson about the value of saving.

Here comes the twist.  Put yourself in the place of the child.  Where is my all-loving, all-knowing, all-powerful parent when I REALLY need them?  Why don’t they rescue me from this pain!!! The child is completely focused this brief life event, but the parent is looking across the child’s entire life.  So, the parent doesn’t rescue the child, but has a conversation with the child when they are ready to listen about the value of saving.

This parent allows the child to suffer in order to help them build their character.  Maybe ‘allowing bad things to happen’ can be good…  Maybe allowing bad things to happen is sometimes actually the best love we can receive. It all comes down to the whether the child learns from the situation or not. Their loving and wise parent suggested something the child did not agree with or understand. The child needs to understand their parent’s wisdom is bigger than their understanding and to learn to trust that parental wisdom even when they think they know better.

Keys to understand in this situation:

• This is a small event in the full life of this child.  They likely will not remember the specifics of it when they are older, but the lesson on the value of saving will become part of their character. The child is completely focused on “now” and doesn’t understand why their loving parent is allowing this bad thing to happen to them.  But, the next time savings enables a valued purchase, it will add to their trust of their parent’s counsel.
• The parent is willing to allow short term pain for important long term character growth.  Tough love puts character above short term happiness when important. The parent understands their pain, but is focused on the big picture of their whole life.
• Like this single event in the life of this child, this time on earth is a blink of an eye in our eternal existence.  This world is a training ground, not a destination.  If God rescues us from the problems we create, we will not learn about ourselves.  While spending this brief time on earth, we should be looking for relationship principles and for our purpose.  If we are not getting those principles and purposes from our wise parent (God), we are likely experiencing less than best. If we are not finding them, we are not looking in the right place.  If we are not understanding the meaning that God intends for them, we are missing the point. We think happiness in this life is all-important, but our loving Father is preparing us for our eternal life. Also remember that if the child had just listened and trusted, they would be benefitting now AND in the future. This site is designed to help surface a better understanding of all of this.

Additional perspective on the parent/child relationship:
It is not a coincidence! Integral to our human design is the parent/child relationship.  Wise and loving parents guide their maturing child.  This design in us is not random chance.  God integrated it into our design so that we could learn how trusting a wise and loving parent is to our benefit.  Throughout the Bible, God calls Himself our Father.  He is showing He wants a relationship with us wrapped with intent for our good.  God is showing us that He loves us not because we are good, but because He loves His children even when they mess up.  Furthermore, God is showing us that He has wise counsel to offer that will make our lives better. But, we need to respond in trust (faith) if we are to benefit from the wise and loving council of our earthly parents or our Heavenly Father.  It should not be blind faith, but faith based on experience and promises.

Christianity is the only faith system with unconditional love at its core rather than performance-based love. Personally, I am glad it is the only way!

One final note:
If you feel like you will fail God.  If you feel like you will not be good enough.  Know this, sometimes you will fail and not be “good enough”.  But God knew that before He created you and He loves you as the child of His that you are.  Just as a loving and wise parent doesn’t expect their child to be perfect and lovingly helps them through maturing growth, that is what God is doing with us, His children.  God loves His children unconditionally – even if we don’t reach “being a basically good person”.

Go to FAQ “Big picture of what is God doing”
Go to FAQ “Why does God allow bad things to happen?”
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